Day 40

I decided to post Day 40 to elucidate Day 41--why was I still seething?

An interesting cultural exchange occurs today or, more correctly, this evening. I check our FCU account late in the day because Jorge told Teri while talking on Skype the other day that he will deposit directly into our account the 100 dollars a month that he’s paying us for our car; at the same time he asks Teri if he can deposit some more money that we can then withdraw here and give to Gina so she can pay a few bills that he still owes in Piura. So when the FCU account pops up I see an $800 cash deposit. I am surprised at the amount. I ask Teri about it and she doesn’t know why it’s so much and I suggest I send him an email and she says go ahead and do it because we should find out what’s going on. So I do.

When Gina gets home from her job at the bank she tells Teri that the extra $700 is for her, that Jorge told her to expect it. Teri relays this info to me along with the fact that Gina wants the money in US dollars. I am surprised she’s dictating currency but have no problem with giving her dollars since Jorge deposited dollars so I say, that’s fine I’ll just go to the bank ATM, get the US cash, bring it home, and give it to her. Teri relays to Gina. Gina panics and says, no, no, it’s much too dangerous for me to carry that kind of money around on the street, besides the bank will only let me withdraw $500 a day, and she will go with me in a taxi to the bank. Teri relays to me. I tell Teri, after a guffaw (big mistake), that I don’t think the world is all that dangerous a place and anyway there’s no way for anyone to tell how much money I’ve taken from the ATM and I demonstrate for them both how I take the bills out of the slot, count them, and slip them into my wallet all directly in front of my waist. Teri says, “Oh, I hope you are robbed!” I laugh (very big mistake—this is spiraling out of control). Gina says more to Teri and I think I detect a pleading tone to her voice. Teri relays to me that Gina wants me to do it for her because she is worried. I sigh in futility. “Why won’t you just go with her?” Teri whines. “Because of egotism,” I say angrily. “I’m tired of talking about this,” Teri shouts back, “do what you want!” I’m silent and they both look at me waiting. “I’m thinking about it!” I say. Gina goes back in the living room and Teri goes back to work. I sit. I seethe. I think—I’m a model for Rodin.

I do not like the idea of this young woman holding my hand; I do not like the idea of her thinking she needs to hold my hand—aren’t I suffering enough daily humiliation as it is? On the other hand, is it going to hurt me to placate both of them to smooth this over? Yes! It is going to hurt me. This is stupid! What the hell Leroy, I think, don’t be a dope; it’s not that big of a deal. I’m not going to do it! I fume. I cogitate. Teri pretends to work. Gina is silent in the living room. 10 minutes pass. It’s getting late. I’m tired. I make my decision.

I get up and walk into the living room; I pause at the bottom of the stairs for dramatic affect. I turn slowly around to face Gina and I say solemnly: “I’ll bring you 500 dollars tomorrow and 200 dollars on Friday.” She nods, I turn around and as I walk up the stairs I say, “Buenas noches,” over my shoulder and she responds appropriately.

As I lie in bed with a book open but no words on the page being processed I wonder if I’m being an old fool. Teri comes up to bed in a while and tells me that Gina didn’t understand a word I said, but that she told her what I said, and Gina responded, “He needs to understand that he’s not in his own country now.”

As we lie in bed side by side I say to her: “I’m not giving in to irrational fear; I have only a little pride, but it’s all I have, and I’m going to keep it.” She squeezes my hand and opens a book.